Here's looking at you, kid...

but what are you looking at?

Nice Hat...

I'd like to see more of these at the Kentucky Derby.

The Rare Venus Human Trap...

It looks innocent enough, but get too close and it'll bite your head off.

Tao...

is Chinese for "path".

Das Boot...

is German for "The Boat".

Truncated Icosahedron...

that's the actual name, I swear!

The Gambler Bullet...

is the only object capable of harming Kenny Rogers.

North American Porch Toad...

this rare creature can be found in the suburban northeast, commonly yelling at kids to get off the damn lawn. There are reports of some being able to tell when "weather" is coming, and thus have been used as simple barometers.

It's illegal to yell fire in a crowded room...

but can you show fire on the crowded internet?

PWW...

Pole Wide Web

Gas...

you're never too old for a fart joke (well maybe you are).

When I said "send in the marines"...

I wasn't being literal!

Do not attempt to adjust your TV...

a) the picture is out of focus and b) this is your computer!

I once caught a fish this big...

ok, maybe that's just one whale of a tale.

Sundial...

unfortunately no one ever thought to mark the numbers down.

Discrimination...

even in the 21st century, people still won't accept Klingons.

Incredibly low rent for a shared 2 BR apartment...

paranormal roommate only uses it on the weekends.